Wednesday, February 6, 2013


Monday my little man wasn't feeling well. He spent most of the day laying on me or napping. He was pitiful. Initially, I was frustrated because nothing was getting done, but then it hit me. A couple of years from now he won't want to spend his day snuggling with me. He will be more interested in playing and running around doing his on thing. I need to enjoy it while it lasts. All the house work can wait a little while and it did.

Trying to be a good mother is a struggle for me and a source of anxiety.  I worry I won't do the right thing or be there for him when he needs me. I feel like I didn't have a great example in this department. My mother and father split when I was beginning high school. After that she wasn't around much. I think that's why I was never sure I wanted to have kids but now I can't imagine life without him. I don't want him to think I'm not there for him but I also don't want to be smothering so it's a difficult balancing act.

I want my son to grow up happy and healthy knowing he has two parents who love him and are both there for him. Right now we seem to be doing great and let's just hope it continues to happen!

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